I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
she literally pooped in the closet. i sent the picture to everyone i know.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Randomize
