Did I ever tell you that the first person i made out with cried?
I skipped work to stalk him.
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
I was literally convinced that the turkey wrap i was eating was keeping me alive. And i couldnt have been happier. That high.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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