Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
