she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
No but the chipped one is crooked now. Clearly I didn't use my hands to break my fall. I used my face
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
