Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
Not sure what happened last night, but there are four mini bikes outside and some guy is wearing my shirt passed out in the breakfast nook. Won't be telling the grand kids about this one.
I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Omg in one week, two guys with their own names tattooed on their bodies had their tongues in my mouth. Self loathing shall commence now.
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