love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
The face that yo gabba gabba comes up when I'm stoned and searching for yoga workouts is scary or dangerous
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I better not get a vid of you penile helicoptering
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
soo... how was my night?
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