I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
Is it because I queefed?
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
