They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
You kept challenging people to a cartwheel contest...when someone finally agreed, you cartwheeled into some chicks face, then tried to propose to her as an apology. Fyi, she said no
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
I want to create a human. Discussion later.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
