Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
YOU ARE THE ONLY PERSON I KNOW THAT STEALTH CLEANS PEOPLE TOILETS
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
