god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
it glows. i had to have it.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Just considered playing a drinking game with powerade with my sister so she would get some fluids in her. I do so well with sick people.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
