Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
I'll tell these girls I'm like the pet adoption center...don't play with it if you're not taking it home.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.