just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Getting so old my power naps are turning into, "can I reasonably just go to bed at this time?"
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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