I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
