Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize
