awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
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