I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
A blow job from a tiger shark would still entail less risk to your genitals than having sex with her.
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
They have beer where we have blood.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
Randomize
