her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
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