U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
Randomize
