You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
Yeah we've been texting but I don't know how to just randomly throw in sooo the real reason this is happening is because i hear you're a drug dealer
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
