forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
I'm too hungover to be in a fucking cow suit right now
maybe if i keep dancing i won't throw up
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
She needs to move out. Her mom interferes with my penis being touched
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
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