You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
Question: terrible or awesome when a girl give you head so vigorously that you get a hickey of sorts
i guess that's what happens when you find your girlfriend at the zoo
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
All I I know is that there's 2 new contacts in my phone. Drunk Backdoor and Gayass Handshake. Thanks, Jameson.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
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