Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
Just bought a 17 year old 40's while wearing a poncho. This behavior is acceptable until I'm 25.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
I woke up with a bunch of jolly ranchers and an eight ball in my purse. Successful
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
Randomize
