you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
Randomize
