last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
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