woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
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It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
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