Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
My mom is currently drinking alone in our kitchen singing the Dixie Chicks to herself so, hey, alcohol is forever and we should not be shamed for its use.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
In 2009 his now husband dressed in a sailor onesie and heels for pride so he needs to REMEMBER how to party
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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