why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
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