How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
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Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
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Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
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