I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
That's your penis' name. I've always referred to it as Alejandro secretly.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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