he looks like a really good dad on facebook
I had to stop messing around with him for fear of laughing in his face. I swear it was a pinky finger in his pants
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i scared a bird with my dick
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
my mom went out and bought me new sheets and redecorated my room. its like she's more excited for me to get laid tomorrow for the first time in two months than I am.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
I'm both gender and math confused
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