it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
You remember correctly you did get a golf cart ride out but it wasnt because you were special. You were so smashed you were screaming tiger at random golfers in the middle of there backswing.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
