the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
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