Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
please come you make the beer taste better
So the waitress at the Chinese Buffet totally just said "Adios" to a Hispanic couple. There's something you don't see every day.
Sometimes, in the course of human events, people get lit on fire.
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
how did the keg end up in the top bunk?
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
COCAINE IS GR8
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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