I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
I come bearing gifts of whiskey and vagina
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
I supernannyed him into submission
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
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