In the future we'll all be gay
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
and i was just like oh shit i'm getting felt up by a 15 year old
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Sitting in my car feasting on the spoils of Taco Bell as Donna Lewis croons "I love you, always forever." A more perfect moment will never exist.
I tried to avoid catching feelings but then he took me out to breakfast
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Randomize
