i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
i am positive it's ok to drink. it's just pieces of the plastic knife i forgot was in the blender.
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
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Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
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Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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