Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yep. it's official. for $40 they will let you lick the stripper pole.
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
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