Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
You got the whole drunk bus to sing, "In The Jungle" while conducting with your glowsticks.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Randomize
