You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
