i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
All I saw was a purple blob and poking out from under was part of a green shirt. Took me a minute to realize it was him under that beast.Thought I should ask if he was actually breathing and conscience but then I saw him slowly exploring what few brave men have done before.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
