i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
You 2012 self promised me that you would do LSD with me, and it's 2015 now. So.
Plus, I'm basically a doctor, so what could go wrong.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
