pissed the bed twice, first one side then rolled over , other side. boom.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
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you called to congratulate me on being the reason you lost never have i ever
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
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I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
There is someone out there for you right now. And we will find her. Or him. Her. Her, we'll start with tits.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
I made a bucket list last night. Number 5: Will marry a wizard.
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