i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I packed spaghetti and rum. But panties? Nah
My throw up tasted like pumpkin, fall is right around the corner.
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
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