im holly from the hills drunk
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Randomize
