Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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