Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Stripper told me "sorry i'm not squezing my tits in your face much, I just had a kid and don't want to squirt you in the eye with milk. " in the middle of my lap dance
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
It took me twenty minutes to read that sentence.
All I said was okay...
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