airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Bloody Mary Monday just took a turn for the worst... Just had a heart to heart talk with the cat about it's obsession with chewing on cardboard.... Time for a nap.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
Just woke up and read the text that drunk me sent you, i take it all back, and you can't have my power puff girl pillow either.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
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