i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Does the term "on fleek" apply to dicks or just eyebrows?
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
Randomize
