return my video game
Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
Randomize
