We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I understand Curling. That high.
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Today's weekday brunch started at 2pm, and consisted of $7 of sandwich and $50 of cocktails. Also, I hustled the bartender for about $3 playing nickel poker, but he may have been letting me win. Either way, he didn't get into my pants.
Literally the only reason we didnt get arrested was because the cop said I reminded him of Steve Stifler from American Pie
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Randomize
