Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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