You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
If I would have known that wiping my dick on her pillow would have caused her to leave........
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Randomize
