i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Literally this kid just told me he's not planning to live past 30. Then he hit himself with a frying pan.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
Randomize
