Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
Remember those girls from the bar? The tall and short blondes?
Is this a story I am going to hate you for?
idk but i can hear her singing "Call Me Maybe" really slowly and emotionally in the shower right now
You know it's going to be a good night when you're barking by 8:20.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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