He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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