btw ... thanks for not giving me up as the craigslist killer
i owe you one
thanks for snagging those panties for me
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
i think i have two assholes
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
It was almost as bad as the time I peed on the floor of the Pentagon's subway station.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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