she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
wait did i hook up with someone in mcdonalds last night?
I am attempting to break the habit of calling him daddy.
Who the fuck hid 3 Zimas under my pillow?! Icing doesn't count when it's 8am the next morning and everyone's left and you've passed out on your couch. Currently chugging 2 of 3...
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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