I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
So then the officer asked you how you were getting home and you told him "very carefully"
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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