I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
