I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Your tits are I can't wait for
So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Smoked a blunt with a girl i met at the bus stop today. What you did today is irrelevant
A homeless guy wouldnt accept my granola bar because he didnt have any teeth. I think i win the prize for the ultimate rejection
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
