it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
you showed up at my door at 3am, handed me a bag of cold chicken nuggets and said "lead me to the non-irish Siobhans," do YOU think you were tripping?
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
Randomize
