So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
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tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
then he tried to convert me to islam
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
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He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Just got to Evans to buy weed. His mom showed up unannounced. Now the three of us are chillen. Super.
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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