The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
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