My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
She was giving me head while we were in my tree house, my mom then came out to let the dog out so she stopped so I would stop groaning, was it good? You tell me
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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