it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I'm going to book club and then I'm going to get laid. Being in your 20s ain't so bad sometimes.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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