Only at my house do scrabble games turn into fist fights. I won though... the fight not the board game.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
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